January '23 - End In Mind

Happy New Year!

I always love the start of a New Year because it is when I take the time to reflect on my life and whether or not I am living in accordance to my most closely held values. As a child, I was lucky to have a father who exposed me to progressive and positive thinkers like Stephen Covey, Dale Carnegie, and Zig Ziglar. One of the things he always reiterated was Covey’s phrase, “Live with the End in Mind!”

As a gift to kick off the New Year, I have enclosed an intervention I use frequently with my clients. I have my clients write a tribute to themselves from five of the most important relational arenas of their lives. I instruct my clients to write down what they wish people would say about them on the day of their funeral or celebration of life. I also have them grade themselves in each category, such as an A, B, C, D, or F.

Many of my clients turn out to be an “A” in business or community and a “D” or “F” as a parent or as a partner. This can be eye-opening for you and your clients. Many vow to do better in the roles they have ignored in charging for success. Most people know that how well they have loved is what truly matters at the end. Rarely do people regularly check to assure they are living and loving according to what they want to be remembered for at the end of their lives.

I then set goals with my clients and give homework assignments to bring them up to an A in each of the most important relational areas in their life. It has transformed so many of my client’s lives. Click here to get a copy of the Tribute Statements intervention handout.

I also often use “Soul Spotting” with my clients after they fill this out, especially when the client obviously knows how to love well. This can shred shame and low self-worth and help our clients to have an embodied experience of the beauty of their own souls.