February '23 - Kindness

February is Kindness Month. Random acts of kindness week is the 14th-20th, with the 17th being the dedicated day of kindness. But I say we just celebrate the whole month with random acts of kindness.

For the past four years, my three best friends and I have texted each other daily during the month of February. Each day, we'd send one random act of kindness or love we have done for others and one act of kindness towards self. I have loved this tradition.

Research shows that helping others is good for our mental health. It reduces stress, improves our emotional well-being, and benefits our physical health. In short, doing good does you good.

According to research from the University of Texas at Austin, we tend to underestimate the power of kindness. We downplay the importance of our own kind acts, falsely believing that they make little difference. That belief can keep us from acting kindly.

Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of doing kind things because we feel nervous that we will be misinterpreted. Or, we weigh the inconvenience against the perceived significance to others and figure the time, effort, and money it takes won't matter much, so we skip it altogether. If you do that, you lose the opportunity to increase your own happiness.

Happiness Spikes With Kindness for Us and Others

When we act kindly, we are helping to ease pain, provide support or inspiration, build connections, or give other needed help. This leaves us feeling better about ourselves, too. We like who we are when we do good. And you know what? Others like us more, too.

Need more incentive? When we recognize a need and offer help, our own act of kindness makes us more likely to receive kindness in return. And, seeing a kind act or being the recipient of a kind act inspires more kindness. It spreads. Kindness is contagious.

Go Big With Little Kindnesses

I challenge you to not play small. We can offer kindness as a gift without expectations. It is a way of acknowledging, validating, and supporting each other. Make random acts of kindness part of your daily routine - one for others and one for yourself - and get a friend to do it with you! Here are some ideas to get you going:

• Work from your skill set, interest level, and expertise. I love doing acts of service like bringing food to the ill, but you won't see me offering to help someone with something technology related!
• Focus the act of kindness on what the other person needs at that moment. Try small notes of appreciation, bringing food to someone, making or giving something meaningful, giving sincere compliments, or planning special outings. I love paying for the toll of the car behind me on a bridge!
• Schedule an act of kindness for yourself each day. It may be a long bath, meditating, journaling, or seeing a dear friend. Do this above and beyond your normal self-care - this month is supposed to be special!
• Hold yourself accountable to help build the habit. Having friends you tell each day is a great way to be sure you don't forget. Make a note in your schedule or set an alarm to remind you if needed.

Often we get overloaded in our daily routines, but when we take a short break to do good, the rest of the day becomes more meaningful and joyful.

p.s. What does this have to do with Brainspotting? Try doing an Expansion spot on the part of you that loves doing random acts of kindness.